The Question of Sanity
by Priceless93
Summary: “Wow, I’m flattered of how highly you so obviously think of me.” James says, along with a roll of his eyes. Wait, I mean Potter. I don’t mean James at all. I’m just very confused at the moment. This is my take on how James and Lily got together.


No way in freaking bloody hell. I'm going crazy. I must be. There is no way that James bloody Potter is Head Boy. This must be a joke. Someone will pop out any moment now and yell "gotcha!"

………………………

Nobody's in the compartment but us though. Let's go back to the 'I'm going crazy' idea. That's more plausible than this is.

It's not morally right. It defies all the laws in the world. The urge to run off the train screaming my head off is so strong, I'm surprised I've managed to not give in yet. Then again, that would just prove to everyone else that I am indeed insane, and at the moment, I already have enough to deal with, what with realizing my insanity and all, without having everyone else know it as well.

"Hi Lily," Oh, he's talking. Wait, no, not right. I'm shocked. This officially proves my craziness. James bloody Potter didn't ask me out the moment he saw me. He was polite, he called me Lily, and he lifted my trunk onto the overhead rack for me like a proper gentleman. I must be hallucinating.

Potter's looking at me oddly… Oh, I haven't moved since I first spotted him.

I mentally slap myself for giving him a reason to think I'm crazy. I might've admitted I'm crazy to myself, but nobody else is actually going to discover that I'm insane.

I drop into my usual seat beside the window… which just so happens to be across from _him_. Why has my brain decided to abandon me at _this_ crucial moment? I mean if it hadn't ditched me, I'm sure I wouldn't be debating whether or not to slam my head against the wall for choosing this seat. Of course, slamming my head against the wall for no apparent reason would cause suspicion, and there's absolutely no need to give him any more reason to suspect I'm crazy.

"How was your summer?" He's now asking in the same polite tone. What's wrong with him? I'm sure the abnormality of it all is causing me to glare at him. He hasn't asked me out yet, he hasn't run his hand through his hair yet, and he doesn't have an idiotic smirk on his face. He's being polite, well-behaved, _and_ he has a smile on his face. A _smile._

"Why do you want to know?" I'm sure the suspicion in my voice can't be any more obvious.

Something is always up when it seems _Potter_'s changed. Same goes for the rest of his friends. With the exception of Remus, of course. Remus is _always_ polite and civil.

"Well I was just asking to be polite, but you don't really have to tell me if you don't want." He looks hurt as he leans back into his seat and pouts; in a manly way of course.

Wait, why am I justifying his pouting? What's wrong with me? We've already established the fact that I'm crazy, but this is just wrong. There's no way I actually like _Potter_ of all people. The idea is laughable, but I'm sure he'd look at me oddly again if I laughed for no apparent reason.

Although now that I think about it, why do I care about him looking at me like I'm crazy? It would prevent him from asking me out in the future. But he hasn't asked me out yet. Am I not attractive anymore?

Wait no, not right. This is what I've wanted every since third year. It's a miracle that he's decided to stop asking me out every opportunity he gets. I should be throwing a party for just that fact, not questioning my undeniable beauty.

Oh no. He's rubbing off on me. I'm turning into an arrogant toe-rag who tries to break as many rules as possible just for the fun of it…

No, I'm not. I still can't break any rules at all when I think of the disappointed look McGonagall's face. I don't know why I strive for the approval of all my professors, but it's become something like an obsession.

Wait, I'm getting so carried away I forgot what began the questioning of my sanity.

"How the hell did _you_ get Head Boy?" I throw a glare at him for effect. "Did you steal Remus' badge?"

"Wow, I'm flattered of how highly you so obviously think of me." James says, along with a roll of his eyes. Wait, I mean Potter. I don't mean James at all. I'm just very confused at the moment.

"I wouldn't put it past you. You swiped his badge in fifth year, and while Remus was running around looking for his badge, you were in the prefect's compartment trying to convince me you were prefect and telling me that you'd changed and that I should go out with you." I clench my jaw in remembrance of that memory. What a nightmare.

Wait! This means I might possibly not be crazy! He probably just stole the badge from Rem, and now he's bluffing, thinking up another way to convince me that he's changed.

"It's just lovely how lowly you think of Remus. He _is_ a Marauder whether you want to believe it or not, and it's rather hard to pull the same trick twice on a person who's so intelligent." Jam-_Potter_ says with a roll of his eyes.

I keep up my glare. He'll crack at some point in time, and I'll be there to give him detention for a month.

He glances over at me.

He sighs.

What right does he have to sigh at me?!?! How dare he!

Why's he taking his trunk down? He's already changed, so it can't be that. What's he plotting?

He pulls out a piece of parchment and hands it to me. I don't _think_ parchment can explode… I pull it open slowly just in case.

I quickly scan the letter before tossing it back at him.

Damn it. He wasn't lying. He actually is Head.

I'm beginning to question Dumbledore's sanity as well as mine. What person in their right mind would make _Potter_ Head Boy? Knowing him, he'll probably abuse his new-found authority by docking points from Slytherin because they "looked at him wrong" or something equally idiotic.

He must have seen me eyeing him with distrust, because he sighed again. I almost smile, but manage to stop myself.

"Yes I know. I couldn't believe it when I received the letter either. Yes, I also believe that Dumbledore is crazy for making me Head Boy, but I've changed over the summer to at least _attempt_ to be a somewhat good Head." He says, running his hand through his hair. For some reason I didn't find it as annoying as usual. He turns to look directly into my eyes. "Now whether you choose to believe what I said or not is your choice."

I feel my heart speed up. He's so handsome when he's trying to be serious and assertive. Although he's much cuter when he's goofing off with his friends.

…………………………………………

WHAT DID I JUST THINK?!?!?!

This officially goes to prove that I'm crazy. Out of my mind. Totally bonkers.

How could the thought of James Potter being handsome even cross my mind? He's absolutely revolting. I want to hit myself, but then my "Make sure people don't find out you're a closet psycho" plan would be a no-go.

Oh crap, he's saying something… which I totally missed. Well, he might've said something that doesn't require an answer from me…?

From the way he's looking at me, I'm guessing that's not the case. I let out a sigh before opening my mouth to talk to him.

"Could you repeat that? I make a habit of tuning out most things you say as they're generally useless." I almost wince at my tone. I can't control my mouth at all, and it seems to like insulting James Potter a lot. I guess it's more out of habit than anything else.

"Well, I was actually suggesting that we try to get along this year, as we have patrol with each other at least once a week, and it wouldn't exactly be a great example for the younger students to see their Heads fighting constantly." He sounds incredibly hurt right now. "However, from your response I'm guessing that's not possible."

Wow, it's the first time I've ever felt so guilty over something. I didn't even feel this guilty that time I turned Petunia's teacup into a mouse, and she almost fainted from fright. Actually, that was really very amusing.

Oops, off topic. He's looking out the windows now. I sigh again, this time very loudly.

He turns to look at me.

I look down and fiddle with some of the loose threads at the end of my shirt.

"I'm sorry. What I said was mean and unnecessary." I manage to bite out. Apologizing to James Potter isn't something I enjoy doing, but it does make the guilt go away. "As for your preposition, I think that the Heads getting along _would_ set a good example for the younger kids, so I'd like to try that, if you're still willing."

I think it's the first time in my life I've ever felt shy in front of him. Our usual routine is pretty straight-forward. Nothing to be unsure about. He asks me out or does something stupid and I insult him. Easy.

I finally manage to gather up enough courage to look up at him.

His face shows his shock, and he's looking at me in disbelief. I think my apology surprised him. When he realizes I'm looking at him though, he quickly changes his expression and now he's grinning at me, his eyes sparkling. I can't resist smiling back at him.

He gets up and opens the door to our compartment, bowing low and stretching an arm towards the hallway.

"After you milady" He's still grinning like an idiot. He is an idiot though, so I guess that's okay. I roll my eyes at his antics, and he winks at me, his eyes still dancing merrily. When I still don't make to get up, he pouts slightly before speaking again. "Come on, we'll be late for the Prefects meeting thingy, and I don't think that's a very good example to set for the little kids."

"James, they're already at least fifteen." I tell him, rolling my eyes again, though I'm sure I have a smile on my face.

"Like I said, kids." He says, walking over to me and tugging lightly on the sleeve of my robes, a playful smirk on his face. "Come on. If you don't come with me to the meeting now, I'm going to go without you and tell everyone that you're skipping because you didn't feel they were important enough to take up your precious time."

I gasp in mock horror.

"You wouldn't!"

"Of course I would, now come on! We have to leave _now_, or we'll _really_ be late." He sounds exasperated, and I finally concede to his light tugs, and follow him out of the compartment.

Maybe he really did change over the summer, or maybe he just wasn't so bad to begin with. I quickly rejected the latter. He'd been awful before today. It was most definitely the former.

I feel a grin spread across my face as he turns around to flash me a smile, and to most likely make sure I'm still following him.

Well either way, maybe, just_ maybe_, James Potter isn't so bad after all.

**A/N:** Hi guys, so this is my first fic... Or at least the first one I've deemed good enough to put on here.... Anyways, I'd really appreciate constructive criticism on this, although reviews just telling me you liked it are also nice... :) Oh yeah, to people who added me onto author alert from before, this is the same story as before, just editted, as someone said that the tenses changed around the middle, and I realized it did... Thanks for reading, and again, I'd LOVE it if you reviewed. :D Okay, I'm really sorry about the confusion, due to my forgetting to put this story on complete. I'm actually most likely not going to continue this story, as I don't deal well with long stories. I'll try continuing it of course, as lots of you seem to like it, but this story will stay on complete until I'm sure I'm going to be able to continue it. Sorry again for the confusion.


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